My New Year Solution

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."—Ralph Waldo Emerson

2012. A new year, a new beginning. For most people, time to come up with resolutions. But for me, I'd rather have solutions - those practical and useful means of dealing with difficult situations.

Given that I still have more than 24 weeks to go in this pregnancy, I'll most definitely deal with some difficult and fearful situations. I could almost see the high stress level and fear factor involved as I approach full term. Not to mention the weeks in-between before that.  Can I say I'd rather be walking on a tightrope?

But I recently read this magazine article on creating solutions rather than resolutions to start the New Year. It was more focused on people's pre-occupation with body image and losing weight after the holiday season, but there were tiny bits of wisdom I learned from it that would help me through this subsequent pregnancy. (Don't ask me why I was reading it in the first place, I was probably bored and needed to read something interesting...XD)

One of the central themes of the article is the concept of letting go. I know this is easier said than done really, but it's worth trying. I do have a powerful desire of what I like this pregnancy and the end of it to become but the truth is, I have no control over it. So the article suggested that all I could do is "to let go and move forward unattached to the outcome." This way, I don't get overburdened and stressed out about it. (I did mention it's easier said than done, right?)

"The crux of this philosophy is that in order to get that which we want, we must let go of our need and desire for it," according to the article. Now this seems so impossible to do. But the author believes that this is where freedom lies. She actually hit it right on the nail when she wrote that people get stuck living in fear that the future would not be what they wanted. (Not just the nail, she hit a home run on this one for me. It was like she was talking about me and not about people who wanted to lose weight. Yes, it's creepy like that.)

Wow! She read my thought about this pregnancy so precisely. I have a lot of fear for this little one that sometimes I find myself doubting if I'm going to have a living, breathing baby to take home at the end, that all this hard work would be for naught.

But then the author said once you let go and get un-stuck, you'll have the freedom to live in the present. And I've been thinking about that lately especially with the onset of the new year. I'm glad TLB is thriving and growing and I want him to continue to do so until he's ready to come out. Meanwhile, I want to enjoy this pregnancy and be happy he's doing so well and reaching milestones.

And the only way I could do that is to be present in every moment of this pregnancy. To focus on the now and not concern myself too much with worrying about things that had not even yet happened. It's the only way I could survive this long process and at the same time, celebrate Kai's little brother with all my heart.

The article had a nice conclusion: "We achieve the life we desire when we begin living for the moment, in the moment, and because of the moment. Finding happiness in this New Year will not be an outcome or a result. It is doing; it is being.

How can you foster this way of being in your life? It begins with looking at those things we desire most and finding the bliss in working toward them in the present—not in achieving them in the future. Achievement is still the goal, but ironically, you only get there by letting go of the need for it."

So for this pregnancy and for the whole year, I will strive (with all my heart and soul) for this solution of living for the moment, in the moment, and because of the moment. Not only for my sake, but also for the sake of this precious little one growing inside me.